Hi all in WBT! I've been using WBT for a couple months now and it's something I am enjoying. The kids also enjoy Teach/Ok and Woos. my problem stems from one particular child and now also her parents. This child has gone through a lot recently with a new marriage and new family addition to part of her parental group. She has a tendency to be very dramatic and whines in a high pitch if she doesn't agree with something or if she does not have her needs/requests immediately met to her desires. She has also had problems with telling the truth about situations this year and in the past.

Now I have her parents going to the adminstration without even approaching me and we have a conference later this week with the admin. Parents say that the cards issued to her are harsh and ridculous because she's being given cards for things that others weren't carded for (though this isn't true). She's even started to inquire about contacting other parents in my class, but for what reason I'm not sure. Of course I've gotten the "my child has never had this much discipline problems in all her years at this school", but in talking with her past teachers, I understand that some of these problems are not new. How would you suggest approaching this conference even though I will have my admin with me and supporting me as I taught her child in the past and she knows how I run my classroom? Thanks for your suggestions!

Dealing with unhappy parents of troubled kids is one of the toughest issues in education. You're lucky to have your administrator's support! If you have used the Scoreboard and are now using the Practice Cards, you can describe the Bulls Eye Game to the parent ... a no penalty way to change behavior. However, I wouldn't give any further ground if, in your view, the child's behavior needs to change. If the parent doesn't agree with your view, then perhaps the child should have another teacher. I'm interested in what other teachers would advise ...

lsujules
I believe that we have the best system around in dealing with disgruntled parents and kids...here's why. We have the established levels that you are working through as you go. Please let the parent know how you have progressed through the levels and show how their child is continuing to break the rules. Of course, whatever you do you need to establish that all of the kids have agreed to follow the rules and that you have practiced them continuously for the past 12-13 weeks...kids know the rules.

Then you bring up the Bull's Eye game as Biffle has mentioned. Since your administrator is on your side it will go well, but be ready and keep your professional face as we say...focused and calm.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

Unfortunately, I feel my situation is beginning to get more heated. The child has gotten cards on each of the days since the conference was scheduled. The parent and I have exchanged Emails discussing these and it is very clear she is unhappy with how things are being done. Today, the child was asked to tuck her uniform shirt in, which is a school policy. I explained very simply on her 2nd reminder that she would be given a uniform slip if she was told a 3rd time, which is something that I have done before with other students. (Kinda the 3 strikes and you're out deal) She immediately replied that she didn't hear the first time I asked. So I just again said tuck in your shirt. When she continued to balk about not hearing me on the first request with more "zest" and "drama", I gave her a rule 4 card.

Now the parent says the child is going home crying, saying that I hate her. She does not want me to give her any punishment unless she (the parent) feels it is warranted. She is also saying that she is talking with other parents about what is going on. She feels that it is difficult to understand children if you have any of my own...which I don't, but I have also been teaching and working with kids for over 10 years.

I have kept my admin up to date with the emails we have exchanged and I will do so again with the recent ones, but my concern now is how to approach the child if the parent doesn't want me to discipline her without calling her first. I fear that the child will cause bigger problems because she will feel that she doesn't need to adhere to the rules because I will not be able to "punish" her at her parent's request. This is all VERY stressing and it's still another school day until the conference!!!

Like Mr. R and Mr. B, I agree that it is important to stay positive and present the levels of classroom management. The first point I'd like to make is that there is NO PUNISHMENT, but merely practice. You know that what happens in your classroom and what the parent hears at home very rarely are one in the same. The scoreboard game is just that: a game. Kids follow the rules, they get (insert motivating item here) and if they lose, they practice the skills needed to win the game...like most sports.....if my team got beat because we played poor defense, you can bet we'd be working on defense at the next practice. The practice cards are meant to inform both the student and the parent that optimal engagement is not occurring in the classroom....I am a parent and that is exactly what I want; my child doing everything possible to learn and be engaged. Breaking any of the five rules don't add up to stronger engagement. Explain the Bull's Eye game and how you want the student to succeed. If you have any questions about how it EXACTLY works, I suggest you post it in this thread. There are many of us who have used it and can answer just about any question you may have. I truly feel that once you have your conference and go over your procedures and reasoning that the parents will cool off; if they don't, please know that it probably has nothing to do with you or the system you are using. Difficult students sadly learn some of their character traits from other places than school. Good luck and let us know how things go.

Definitely stress that everything you do in class is a learning experience ... and the brain learns, long term, only by repitition. Your rules, which essentially concern self control, are important precepts which all children need ... and can only be acquired through practice. I assume you are using two minutes of recess practice as a consequence for a white card? Also, as to talking to other parents ... until you actually hear from other parents, don't concern yourself. Most adults are very good at recognizing loose canons and will likely ignore your troubled parent's concerns. Finally, when all is said and done, we can only control what is under our control. During the conference, your only goal is to control your tone of voice and response ... if you do that, the meeting was a success, from your point of view ... if worse comes to worse, take a "strategic retreat" and simply say, "I'll need a day or so to think over the best response to your suggestions." This will give you the time you need to work out a plan with your administrator about the best next step.

Thanks to everyone for their advice and encouragement. The conference went fairly well, thanks to having a very supportive admin be a part of it. I feel the parent may still not be completely pleased that my procedures will not be changing outside of specifically documenting on her cards why she is receiving them, as this is where the majority of the problems seem to be - not to say the child is being dishonest, but that she is giving the wrong information about what is going on. I mentioned to my admin after the conference about the Bull's Eye game and we plan to talk with the child about that tomorrow when the three of us meet. Parent also questions my abiliy to discipline because I don't have children myself despite being in education for over a decade. One positive is that she feels my teaching is great and that her child is learning a lot. Guess I'll take that

As a suggestion--I have made a note that has the picture of the rule that was broken and next to the rule is a line where the information about how the rule is broken is written. Since I have kindergarten--I write the information, but if your student is old enough, you can have her write it. I always ask my kinders what rule they have broken (they recite the rule), then I ask what they did to break the rule (I write down what they said) then I ask what they will do differently the next day. I realize the above is very kinder-ish, but it can be adapted by having the kids fill in what they did and even what they will do differently. The Bullseye Game will be a great addition--and will hopefully help your student to recognize and at least take ownership when she is having a bad day. Best of luck!
PS I attached that note in case you were interested. Adapt any way you like:)

Sorry! I guess the pictures are too big
If you are still interested in that note, you can email me and I will send it to you:)

Hi,
I am sorry you have a difficult parent-child situation this year. I really like the recommendations by Mr. V, Mr. B, and Ms. Schindler. The WBT method of instruction/learning has really been a positive in my class. I made a note also with pictures of the behaviors and an explanation of the importance of everyone participating. If you want my version of the note, go to this link:

maggieskindercorner.com/RulesLetter.doc

I do hope things will smooth out for you very soon. We had parent-teacher conferences two weeks ago and the response was great! Hang in there.
Maggie

Wow! Sounds like you took a tough situation and faced it professionally. One suggestion I have to disarm parents is to say something like, "I am sure that we both have the same goals for your child: to be successful in life. Let's talk about how we can do that..."

Parents often play the "parent card" with teachers who do not have their own children. This is easily diffused by talking about goals for the student that are in line with the parent's desires. What parent is going to say that they do not want their child to be successful?

I would also recommend that the child attend future "conferences" so that the she is aware that she does have some control and responsibility in this situation. This is one way to stop the "blame game".